This Is Me…Then

As I’ve gotten older I’ve really gotten more intune with myself. To remind you I’m only 24 years old and I’m still figuring myself out (in my opinion is okay being I have alot of more growth to develop). I sometimes find myself comparing my path to others and not realizing that everyone’s timing is different and we all put in different amounts of work everyday to get where we’d like to be. I wasn’t being realistic. I was expecting life to expectedly just happen for me the way I’d liked it to and figure itself out.

We determine how we perform in everyday life. You are what you think. We become what we listen to and read. When you think negative thoughts into your spirit it becomes your reality. I wasn’t setting a positive image for myself nor thinking in a positive way.

I’m sharing this because I have cemented stories about myself that I came to grips about that were not true. And I was just so sick and tired and upset that I was believing the negative and not the person I actually was INSIDE. One thing is for sure It has not been the easiest of my time. It was actually a hard phase/process in my life that took me awhile to overcome and I’m still figuring myself out but I’ve become better and more at ease when dealing with it. Figure out what you want, and why you want it in the first place.

                 HERE’S THE THINGS I FIGURED OUT ABOUT MYSELF:

I am beautiful. For what I can remember I’ve literally always thought I wasn’t nice looking enough. I used to go to family gatherings and parties from time to time and see other women I caught comparing myself to, or seeing other women on Instagram and other social media platforms with the banging bodies and blooming/bright skin. I wanted to be her. Their were many days I cried and wished to be someone else.

I was judging myself so harshly and couldn’t believe I was forcing a lie to be the truth. I just had to be aware of my flaws and accept them as everyone has them.

I am confident.  As opposed to this I’ve always masked my insecurities. I was portraying the image of being diffident. Timid and shy. I was for sure lacking conviction. I allowed that label to dictate my social and personal life. I have so much more confidence to build within myself, and some days I still find myself questioning my thoughts and self judgment because I didn’t really know what self-confidence was and how i could find it in me until I realized I was building this foundation of comparing my past experiences and just… life mishaps instead of basing it on the here and now. And, guess what? Eventually I began to take risks, speak positive words to myself and believe that it is OK to fail. Failure is not fatal. Pick your head up and reclaim that confident mind frame and just know that what we temporarily feel is normal because we’re all humans and it’s OK.

I am interesting. I painted this image of myself that if I wasn’t out at the bars, or club hopping I wasn’t being interesting. Everyone portrays fun in different ways. I have fun in the kitchen. I have fun binge watching my favorite Netflix series. I have fun laying in bed reading a good book or listening to some soothing music. (I love Sade) and to me fun can be implemented in so many ways. Let no one tell you otherwise. Be you. Do the things that allow you to be the happiest you.

When I look back and think about how silly I was to pick this new person from the real me and turn her into reality you wouldv’e thought I had lost myself completely.. But i’ve gripped the truth about myself and told myself I will try to never force myself to think negatively about who I am and if I do i’ll quickly suppress the thought. And if you find yourself doing the same remember how far you’ve come with facing the truth.

Sign up for the 7 best tips to maintain positive thoughts below!

https://f.convertkit.com/ckjs/ck.5.js
Join the Newsletter
Subscribe to get our latest content by email.
    Subscribe
    We won’t send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time.
    Powered By ConvertKit
    .formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] *{font-family:”Helvetica Neue”,Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif;box-sizing:border-box;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”]{-webkit-font-smoothing:antialiased;-moz-osx-font-smoothing:grayscale;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] legend{border:none;font-size:inherit;margin-bottom:10px;padding:0;position:relative;display:table;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] fieldset{border:0;padding:0.01em 0 0 0;margin:0;min-width:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] body:not(:-moz-handler-blocked) fieldset{display:table-cell;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h1,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h2,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h3,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h4,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h5,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] h6{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-weight:inherit;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] p{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-weight:inherit;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][data-format=”modal”]{display:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][data-format=”slide in”]{display:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-select,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-checkboxes{width:100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit{border:0;border-radius:5px;color:#ffffff;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-align:center;font-size:15px;font-weight:500;cursor:pointer;margin-bottom:15px;overflow:hidden;padding:0;position:relative;vertical-align:middle;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button:hover,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit:hover,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button:focus,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit:focus{outline:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button:hover > span,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit:hover > span,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button:focus > span,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit:focus > span{background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0.1);}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-button > span,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit > span{display:block;-webkit-transition:all 300ms ease-in-out;transition:all 300ms ease-in-out;padding:12px 24px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input{background:#ffffff;font-size:15px;padding:12px;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;-webkit-flex:1 0 auto;-ms-flex:1 0 auto;flex:1 0 auto;line-height:1.4;margin:0;-webkit-transition:border-color ease-out 300ms;transition:border-color ease-out 300ms;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input:focus{outline:none;border-color:#1677be;-webkit-transition:border-color ease 300ms;transition:border-color ease 300ms;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input::-webkit-input-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input::-moz-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input:-ms-input-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-input::placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”dropdown”]{position:relative;display:inline-block;width:100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”dropdown”]::before{content:””;top:calc(50% – 2.5px);right:10px;position:absolute;pointer-events:none;border-color:#4f4f4f transparent transparent transparent;border-style:solid;border-width:6px 6px 0 6px;height:0;width:0;z-index:999;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”dropdown”] select{height:auto;width:100%;cursor:pointer;color:#333333;line-height:1.4;margin-bottom:0;padding:0 6px;-webkit-appearance:none;-moz-appearance:none;appearance:none;font-size:15px;padding:12px;padding-right:25px;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;background:#ffffff;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”dropdown”] select:focus{outline:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”]{text-align:left;margin:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”]{margin-bottom:10px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] *{cursor:pointer;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”]:last-of-type{margin-bottom:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] input[type=”checkbox”]{display:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] input[type=”checkbox”] + label::after{content:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] input[type=”checkbox”]:checked + label::after{border-color:#ffffff;content:””;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] input[type=”checkbox”]:checked + label::before{background:#10bf7a;border-color:#10bf7a;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] label{position:relative;display:inline-block;padding-left:28px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] label::before,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] label::after{position:absolute;content:””;display:inline-block;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] label::before{height:16px;width:16px;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;background:#ffffff;left:0px;top:3px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-group=”checkboxes”] [data-group=”checkbox”] label::after{height:4px;width:8px;border-left:2px solid #4d4d4d;border-bottom:2px solid #4d4d4d;-webkit-transform:rotate(-45deg);-ms-transform:rotate(-45deg);transform:rotate(-45deg);left:4px;top:8px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-alert{background:#f9fafb;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;border-radius:5px;-webkit-flex:1 0 auto;-ms-flex:1 0 auto;flex:1 0 auto;list-style:none;margin:25px auto;padding:12px;text-align:center;width:100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-alert:empty{display:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-alert-success{background:#d3fbeb;border-color:#10bf7a;color:#0c905c;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-alert-error{background:#fde8e2;border-color:#f2643b;color:#ea4110;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-spinner{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;height:0px;width:0px;margin:0 auto;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;right:0;width:0px;overflow:hidden;text-align:center;-webkit-transition:all 300ms ease-in-out;transition:all 300ms ease-in-out;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-spinner > div{margin:auto;width:12px;height:12px;background-color:#fff;opacity:0.3;border-radius:100%;display:inline-block;-webkit-animation:formkit-bouncedelay-formkit-form-data-uid-6af8eebacf- 1.4s infinite ease-in-out both;animation:formkit-bouncedelay-formkit-form-data-uid-6af8eebacf- 1.4s infinite ease-in-out both;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-spinner > div:nth-child(1){-webkit-animation-delay:-0.32s;animation-delay:-0.32s;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-spinner > div:nth-child(2){-webkit-animation-delay:-0.16s;animation-delay:-0.16s;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit[data-active] .formkit-spinner{opacity:1;height:100%;width:50px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit[data-active] .formkit-spinner ~ span{opacity:0;}@-webkit-keyframes formkit-bouncedelay-formkit-form-data-uid-6af8eebacf-{0%,80%,100%{-webkit-transform:scale(0);-ms-transform:scale(0);transform:scale(0);}40%{-webkit-transform:scale(1);-ms-transform:scale(1);transform:scale(1);}}@keyframes formkit-bouncedelay-formkit-form-data-uid-6af8eebacf-{0%,80%,100%{-webkit-transform:scale(0);-ms-transform:scale(0);transform:scale(0);}40%{-webkit-transform:scale(1);-ms-transform:scale(1);transform:scale(1);}} .formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”]{border:1px solid #e3e3e3;max-width:700px;position:relative;overflow:hidden;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-background{width:100%;height:100%;position:absolute;top:0;left:0;background-size:cover;background-position:center;opacity:0.3;z-index:1;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] [data-style=”minimal”]{padding:20px;width:100%;z-index:2;position:relative;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-header{margin:0 0 27px 0;text-align:center;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-subheader{margin:18px 0;text-align:center;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-guarantee{font-size:13px;margin:10px 0 15px 0;text-align:center;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-guarantee > p{margin:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-powered-by{color:#7d7d7d;display:block;font-size:12px;margin:10px 0 0 0;text-align:center;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-powered-by[data-active=”false”]{opacity:0.5;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-fields{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-wrap:wrap;-ms-flex-wrap:wrap;flex-wrap:wrap;margin:25px auto 0 auto;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-field{min-width:220px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-field,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”] .formkit-submit{margin:0 0 15px 0;-webkit-flex:1 0 100%;-ms-flex:1 0 100%;flex:1 0 100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] [data-style=”minimal”]{padding:40px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] .formkit-fields[data-stacked=”false”]{margin-left:-5px;margin-right:-5px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] .formkit-fields[data-stacked=”false”] .formkit-field,.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] .formkit-fields[data-stacked=”false”] .formkit-submit{margin:0 5px 15px 5px;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] .formkit-fields[data-stacked=”false”] .formkit-field{-webkit-flex:100 1 auto;-ms-flex:100 1 auto;flex:100 1 auto;}.formkit-form[data-uid=”6af8eebacf”][min-width~=”600″] .formkit-fields[data-stacked=”false”] .formkit-submit{-webkit-flex:1 1 auto;-ms-flex:1 1 auto;flex:1 1 auto;}
    Advertisements

    Author: Amber Haynes

    Welcome, to my blog! First off allow me to start by saying i enjoy many things, but nothing makes me feel more alive than sharing the things I enjoy and placing them here as a creative outlet. I’ve recently relocated from Tampa, FL to Baumholder, Germany. I’m currently a stay at home military Wife/Mommy to three beautiful children and a wife to an amazing man. Anything that I’d share with close friends and family I’d share here...whether it be life hacks, tips, travels or simply just a cute outfit I picked up at the thrifty store! You can follow more of me and my daily life on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter or Facebook!

    Leave a Reply

    Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

    WordPress.com Logo

    You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

    Google photo

    You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

    Twitter picture

    You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

    Facebook photo

    You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

    Connecting to %s